Know Yourself – Part 2

Is Your Personality A Mask?

“She has a wonderful personality.”

“He has no personality.”

“We seem to have a clash of personality.”

"I want to improve my personality."

We use the term 'personality' frequently but what does it actually mean?

Personality is not easily defined. There are numerous personality theories and as many definitions of 'personality', so we'll stick to the simple. We could define personality as the behavioral, temperamental, emotional, and mental traits of a person.

The word “person” comes from the Latin word “persona,” which means a mask. We do indeed from time to time project and display different 'personas' - depending on situations, relationships, moods, etc. We present many selves

- the self that we would like others to think we are,

- the self we actually think we are,

- the self we are afraid we are, and then, of course,

- the core essence that we really are - the Real Me, The Real You.

Here are a few exercises you can try to answer the question - Is my personality a mask or does it reflect the Real Me?

1. An awareness exercise : Close your eyes, take few deep breaths, put your thoughts on hold. Who remains? Do you feel comfortable with this person?

2. A meditation : Read this passage from Barry Long slowly and let it speak to you.

A long, long time ago, when human beings were not so fixed in their physical bodies as they are today, there lived a man (or was it a woman?) who made for himself a marvelous mask – a mask that could pull many faces. The man used to put on the mask and entertain himself by suddenly accosting people and watching their reactions, Sometimes the mask would be laughing, sometimes crying, some times grimacing and scowling. His victims were always shocked at the sight of such an extraordinary, unnatural, unfamiliar face even when it was smiling. Whether they laughed or cried made no difference to him. All he wanted was the excitement of their reactions. He knew he was himself behind the mask. He knew he was the joker and that the joke was on them.

At first, he’d pop out with the mask on a couple of times a day. Then, as he got used to the excitement and wanted more, he began leaving the mask on all day. Finally, he saw no need to take it off at all and slept in it.

For years, the man wandered through the land enjoying himself behind the mask. Then one day he awoke, feeling a feeling he’d never felt before – he felt lonely, cut-off, something missing. Jumping up in alarm he stepped out in front of a beautiful woman and immediately he fell in love with her. But the woman screamed and ran away, shocked by the frightening, unfamiliar face. “ Stop,” he cried, “It’s not me!” wrenching at the mask wouldn’t come off. It was stuck to his flesh. It had become his face. the man, through his fabulous mask, was the first person to enter this unhappy world.

Time went by. No matter how hard he tried to tell everyone what a disaster he’d brought on himself, no one would believe him. No one was interested in listening anyway, because they’d all copied him. They’d all put on masks of their own – to get the new excitement of playing at being what they were not. Like him, they’d all become the mask.

How the man eventually put a stop to the masquerade and returned to his joyous being, is the finale of the story; for all fables must have a happy ending. However, only when you, the reader, are joyous and free of unhappiness now will the story truly come to an end. For you are the man or woman in the mask.

If you want to seriously undertake this journey towards the Real You, we urge you to record your feelings and answers. You're welcome to write and ask questions, share your thoughts with us.

Know Yourself - Part 1

Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment. ~ Lao Tzu

Think ‘self-awareness’ and the phrases ‘knowing yourself’, ‘getting in touch with your real self’, ‘being true to yourself’ follow naturally. It is a fact that getting to know yourself is the foundation for personal growth.

Life brings many roles to play - son, daughter, mother, father, wife, husband, employer, employee and you get so caught up trying to please others that you lose track of who you really are inside. This poses the question “What makes you happy as an individual”?

In fact, did you know that the number one reason for most people ending up with a job they don’t like is simply because of lack of self awareness? The tendency is to choose a job or career based on advice (well-meant – mostly) from family, friends and well-wishers. Some people also tend to choose the easy way out, taking up the first job that comes along.

In the words of Sydney Harris’ statement, 90 % of the world’s woes come from people not knowing themselves, their abilities, their frailties and even their real virtues’.

It is stock taking time – so let us look at why self-awareness is vital for personal growth and why it is important to know yourself.

• A better understanding of yourself enables you accept yourself and change yourself.
  
• Your mind is more open to identifying opportunities for professional development.
  
• You can develop your decision making skills and instinct, make better and quicker decisions.
  
• You can manage and cope with stress better because you can look at situations more clearly, identify stressors and take action accordingly.
  
• You can enjoy better job satisfaction – you know what they say "if you love what you do – you don’t have to work a single day in your life”
  

Thus – stop and think:

• Am I truly happy with what I am doing?
  
• What am I feeling right now?
  
• What do I want?
  
• How am I acting?
  
• Believe in yourself. Be honest with yourself. Respect yourself. Know yourself. Who else is better qualified?